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Influence and submission / Stretch

Courtesy Without Giving Away Judgment

Recognize excessive deference, flattery, condescension, and overstepping.

READING 1 OF 23 focus words

When respect becomes excessive

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At a gallery planning meeting, Daria noticed an obsequious greeting in which an assistant repeatedly praised a donor's ordinary suggestions as brilliant. Another volunteer showed a servile eagerness to obey, offering to abandon every personal commitment before anyone had asked for extra help. Daria worried that the committee was taking a subservient role by treating the donor's preferences as more important than its own considered judgments. She thanked the visitor, then invited members to explain the reasons behind the exhibition plan they had already developed.

Daria wanted a welcoming meeting, but an obsequious performance made honest discussion harder because every suggestion received extravagant approval. A servile willingness to accept any demand also concealed whether the volunteers could carry out the work. If the committee remained subservient, it would surrender its judgment without examining what the proposed changes would mean for the exhibition. Daria asked for a practical discussion of space and time, giving members a way to express disagreement while still treating the visitor with ordinary respect.

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